AN EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK AT THE NEW EIPURIRU FURU HYPORESONANCE 9000 TURNTABLE

In the realm of audiophile excellence, where the pursuit of sonic perfection knows no bounds, a revolutionary marvel has emerged to redefine the very essence of analogue sound reproduction—the HypoResonance 9000 turntable paired with the QuantumHarmony X phono cartridge by Japanese brand Eipuriru Furu.

This unprecedented synergy between cutting-edge technology and timeless Japanese craftsmanship is poised to shatter preconceived notions and usher in a new era of audio indulgence…or so goes the company’s latest press release. 

EIPURIRU FURU HYPORESONANCE 9000 TURNTABLE

Crafted from a proprietary blend of Francium-infused carbon fibre and artisanally-forged steel, the HypoResonance 9000 turntable is claimed to transcend the boundaries of conventional design. Its sleek, aerodynamic contours are not merely aesthetic but have been precision-engineered to minimise air resistance, “ensuring a seamless and undisturbed rotation that propels the vinyl into a transcendent dance of harmonies.” If all this sounds a little far-fetched and in the realms of a mind unhinged by strong psychedelics, then this is somewhat understandable given the designer’s penchant for somewhat “out-there” music (think Psychic TV, Coil, Throbbing Gristle, and Blue) and, well, strong psychedelics.  

TURNTABLE PLATTER

The turntable’s platter is no ordinary slab of metal; indeed, it’s not metal at all, it is meticulously carved from a single block of rock sourced from Mount Fuji, hewn from the ground during a full moon. This material, with its unparalleled resonance properties, ensures a level of stability and isolation that has hitherto been deemed unattainable. “The HypoResonance 9000 turntable is not merely a playback device; it is an instrument that conducts an ethereal symphony, harnessing the cosmic vibrations of Mount Fuji itself.”

QUANTUMHARMONY X PHONO CARTRIDGE

Complementing this celestial turntable is the QuantumHarmony X phono cartridge, a feat of engineering “brilliance” that defies the laws of physics. Its stylus is not a mere needle but a quantum-tipped filament, harnessing the power of quantum entanglement to delicately trace the grooves of your vinyl “with unparalleled precision”. This breakthrough technology eliminates any possibility of tracking error, ensuring that every subtle nuance and ephemeral whisper of the music is faithfully captured.

MASTER ARTISANS

The cartridge body is constructed from a fusion of Japanese Serow (Capricornis crispus) horn shavings and glass, resulting in an acoustically transparent yet impenetrably resilient shell. The QuantumHarmony X’s internal components are handcrafted by a league of master artisans who have undergone years of transcendental meditation (and strong psychedelics) to infuse each cartridge with an otherworldly sonic aura. “As the stylus glides effortlessly along the vinyl, it activates a harmonious resonance that resonates with the very soul of the music.”

The press release claims that the HypoResonance 9000 turntable and QuantumHarmony X phono cartridge are not merely audio equipment; they are a transcendent gateway to a sonic utopia. As the stylus caresses the grooves of your favourite records, you will find yourself transported to a dimension where the boundaries between listener and music dissolve, and you become one with the ethereal vibrations emanating from this mythical analogue masterpiece.

Eipuriru Furu, the company that makes the turntable and cartridge, suggests that we “prepare to embark on an auditory odyssey like never before, as the HypoResonance 9000 turntable and QuantumHarmony X phono cartridge redefine the very fabric of sound”. This avantgarde combination of craftsmanship and pseudo-science promises an experience so immersive, so extraordinary, that even the most discerning audiophiles will question the limits of their auditory perceptions.

KAITO YAMAZAKI

In a very brief interview with the leader of the team (Kaito Yamazaki) involved in creating the HypoResonance 9000 turntable and QuantumHarmony X phono cartridge suggested that the definitive record to play on this combination would be DJ Paul Elstak’s Love U More.  

HiFi PiG Says: We expect big things from this company in the coming months and years and are very excited to get our hands on one of these turntable and cartridge combinations.